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Autofellatio is the act of oral stimulation of one's own penis as a form of masturbation. Only a limited number of men are physically capable of performing autofellatio. Egyptologist David Lorton says that many ancient texts refer to autofellatio within the religion of Egypt , both in the realm of the gods and among the followers performing religious rituals. Michel Foucault cites Artemidorus ' Oneirocritica as identifying the act of "taking [one's] sex organ into one's [own] mouth" as one of three ways to commit "relations with oneself. Few men possess sufficient flexibility and penis length to safely perform the necessary frontbend.
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Scaramucci: "I'm Not Steve Bannon, I'm Not Trying to Suck My Own Cock."

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How guys suck their own dicks

Illustration by Catherine Soule. Come on, you know you've tried it. If you have a penis, a mouth, 15 spare minutes, and even an iota of curiosity, you've tried to see just how close you can get your face to that pesky little pecker you carry around in your pants. That's OK, man has been trying to get that thing into his mouth since the dawn of time.
Today, the Mooch truly became the Trump administration's communications director. He formally joined earlier in the week, but today Anthony Scaramucci really arrived : In a remarkable interview with The New Yorker 's Ryan Lizza, the Mooch ranted about White House leakers, shivved a couple of colleagues, and dove into a level of vulgarity that, like so much about this administration, is surely unprecedented from a White House official in an on-the-record interview. Below is a collection of his very best one-liners, courtesy of the Goodfellas character who has begun Season Two of our national reality show in hot pursuit of the White House rat. Let me leak the fucking thing and see if I can cock-block these people the way I cock-blocked Scaramucci for six months.
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